Always be grateful

Always be grateful
Just enjoy the path...

Dear YOU

Hello pals!

You come from everywhere...
Here are some stories of mine...
Puzzles that i keep searching through my life

Hope my writing will inspire you...
Make you figure out, when you're sad, there's someone worse than yours.
Make you realize that happiness is something you should share to others.

So, enjoy the pieces of mine ^^

Saturday, August 18, 2012

If only I'm not me...

Hey, you!
I'm writing to you in the room. Yeah, whole day I don't go out and I think you know it will be ended by this.. writing to you...
I got sms from my dad this noon in surprise. Though me and my dad, we are fine but still it's just not a common thing, he text me or call me. He asked me to call him, then I made a call. He just told me that I need to tell my uncle whether I will go with him or not. Just that. Simple. I think that he actually wanna know what I'm doing during this holiday because my mom's on abroad so he asked me by himself. I just know, my parents, they, though they're not like others', saying sweet things to me, I just know, they're really care and I'm the only sweet daughter they have and that's forever, nothing changes. No matter what happened, they'll still be my side, encourage me, and be ready when I go back to them. I just know.
So, here come to the mellow part. I keep thinking during this holiday, two days gone and three days left. I keep thinking, I'm alone in this four walls, reading novels and watching on TV all day. In the lonely night, I begin to think, if only I don't have that prestige, I'm with my mom now, travelling and having fun to that amazing country. That's not mean I can't go with her. Of course, I can ask her to bring me with her. If only I am not me, I'll do it. Now, I'm working, and I ask my mom to bring me, I can't face myself, I should give her some money to shop, not ask her bring me. I have my own saving money and actually I can go with her, but that's budget is for my trip to Europe and till today I haven't made it yet. Am I wrong? Am I too proud of myself?
If only I'm not me... and if only I'm not too tired to face that all fake friends, or haven't reached this climax point, I'll just asking someone to accompany me. But, I'm too tired now. Focus on others and make myself being hurt. If they don't deserve, just leave them and move on. Am i wrong? I have read, "sometimes there are things not meant to be together, no matter how hard we've tried". I do believe. No matter how hard I've tried to make others happy, care for others, and be there when others need, in the end, I'm still leaved alone. So, maybe it's really the time to move on and concern people who really deserve. 
Sometimes I feel that I'm selfish person, leaving both parent in my hometown with no plan to come back. Even, i still don't know how my future is. You see how stupid I am. I just know I can go home to my parents, work there, or anything else, so my day will be filled by warm feeling. See, what I'm doing now, stuck in this hectic city, working from morning to noon, living alone, and enjoying alone. They're worried about me all days. I think this holiday and next month trip will help me think about what I want to be my future, what kind of life, how I live. If only I'm not me...

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