Another raining moment

It's raining now and I'm lazy going out to have a lunch so end up with delivery order and turn on my lappie, writing and talking to you dear. The raining moments are part of some sweet things happened to me. Two raining moments together with someone special there.

Hmm... what should I tell you... These recent three months I enjoy some kind of feeling similar to happy, so it's a positive one, dear. There are so much things I gonna share to you, but sometimes there are something we just can keep them by ourselves. Sharing to you is the best thing to express all my emotions but having those things are also one of the best decision in my life. It's not I'm different now and become closer, but sometimes the one who read this from you have their own perception which out of my control and can't respect what they've read just for reading hobby not gossip or others. I'm not saying they're wrong. As I don't want others know, i just don't write down this to you, but some habits make me still write everything of me for you, so I can't say others wrong, I just can say I can't stand not sharing to you.

When we first met, I had no idea you would be so important to me.

Dear You There,

Yeah, that new person came into my life in most unexpected way. Though my mom gave me the sign through that way but still I never believe that's the way till I met you and I believe again, my mom really has that six sense thing. Through years I have practiced to see someone from their character, not their performance. None say this is an easy thing to do, because we all look someone by our eyes, but I can keep improve them through the practices. So, first meeting with you, I tried to read the character of yours, and that click came, I could accept that quick analysis character, so we went on the second meeting which you made it in perfect way and became one of the most beautiful thing in my life, what I thought at that time, I was afraid to fall for you and gambled again with the weak part of mine called heart. Then, the third meeting was a very surprise ever for me. I knew it's a coincidence but still something new experience that most of old times I always avoid but in the third meeting, I did it. I didn't know how I was thinking at that time till I did it. Then within the distance, you just knew how to get in me. The next meeting both of us knew, this not the kind of feeling about two new friends meeting, it's different, and hell yeah you proved it was so different express experience I've ever had before and again I had to gamble this feeling, but I'd chosen not to fall but for being in. Being in with you together through our long journey ahead. 

Remember the song "Before I Fall in Love" dear? It's my most favorite song.

I'd give my everything just to hear you say, someone to have and hold with all my heart and soul, I need to know before I fall in love, someone who stay around through all my ups and downs, I need to know before I fall in love.

You told me, "not all things came fast, ended fast" and at that time I was just not sure about that statement till I read this quote and you kept convincing me.

Sometimes you meet a person and you just click-you're comfortable with them, like you've known them your whole life, and you don't have to pretend to be anyone or anything.

You often tell me that everyone want to be appreciated, complimented, and pleased, so you often do those things to me and make me more melting to you. The care, patience, and affection, I know that's all for me, and I'm gonna take it dear and have a responsibility of them. Again and again, through the times till now, I still say...

I'm not a perfect girl, but I'll try my best as you promise to stay.

We both ever failed and being hurt so we know well how that hurt feeling broke us and how those beloved people had the power to make us into pieces. So, this time, we take a walk together and hope none of us break each other and stay no matter what going ahead. It's not matter of the distance, but the commitment, faith, and trust that bring us way back together. :) Both of us know clearly, we're different and can't be perfect to each other, but we both try our best and commit to take the path together. It's more than enough for a good start. 

I'd like to thank you for accepting all my flaws, showing me I'm worth and precious, becoming a good partner, staying through my good and bad moods, worrying my loneliness, caring through little stupid things I do, having patience in handling spoiled, saying random surprise statement in the calls, sweet complimenting, missing me and keep counting down through our next meeting. I can't wait to see you, dear. 

7th Month in 23rd

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Happy Chinese New Year dear! Let's make this year to be mine, yeah this year is Horse Year which is my chinese zodiac and this year I'm getting 25th.

Flash back to my first week of the month, there're beautiful moments with someone special far away, thank you for making me special and precious, you know who you are. Since the distance between us, hope to see you soon. Those several days being with you were great moments. 

Then I got my beib coming from Bali, yuhuu, but poor her, it was flood, the annual flood as usual. But we still had good time bein, always happy. Move to the third week, one of my colleague getting married, happy for her, entering new life with her husband. I went to Bandung for the wedding party and had a gathering with my college friends, long time no see the girls. Before went back, i had time to meet my business partner, hope can begin soon.

The last week, let's say can be the beginning of something big, if everything going well. I celebrated my chinese new year at makassar. Yeah, last minute surprise from someone. I was unlucky, got delayed flight for 6 hours without any clear announcement and finally the plane took me meeting someone who was waiting for hours. Just slept for 3 hours and got ready for the new year celebration. It's all worth dear. Tired feelings flied away when you were around lovely people, new family. I got new people for new year. Got time to go around and tried the heaven culinary of the town. 4 days less moved so fast and that distance came again.

Airport see more sincere kisses than wedding halls.

Now I'm missing memories being among them, the love of apho, the care of them and the warmth of you.

See you when I see you all again.

It takes two

I often listen to my friends’ love stories, both boys and girls. Sometimes I just feel that’s not fair. For the example, “I learn how to cook because he wants me to cook.” “I learn how to make up because he wants me looks beautiful.” “I take a gym class because he wants me looks slim.” Realize that the weak point of men is eyes, no wonder physical things can make them down. Then, some of my girls said, “My boy isn’t romantic, what to do.” “My boy’s hobby is playing the game, what to do.” Realize that every girl dreaming of romantic guys treating them right would also make them demand their boys doing those things. But, I just don’t know why, the demand of boys are higher than the girls. Which girls don’t want the gentle, six pack, romantic, kind, loyal boyfriend? Every girl does. So do the boys want the slim, beautiful, kind, loyal girlfriend. No defense, but there are more sacrifice from girls than boys. They are going to hand their life to the boys, leaving their family, moving to her new family, starting again another part of their life, begin to learn again. It’s not easy things. Would some boys realize those things and accept the way she is than demand something isn’t her?

They told me “why don’t you let her go, you have better options and prettier choices.” I told them, they’re evaluating from their point of view, not mine. How I see you, what I believe about you, what I think about us is all that matters to me.

For me, actually I can’t imagine someday I wanna enter that phase, find the right guy, move into his life, then everything changes. If I am going to move far away from the town I’m staying now, am going to leave my parents, job, besties, friends, and the most expensive thing is my freedom. Starting my new life from zero with him and dedicated my rest life to the new family.  Hmm… Something I’m afraid to imagine. But, if that right guy’s worth everything I have sacrificed, I think it’s not a big deal. Actually I never think these kind of things before. But nowadays, since that some of my friends getting married, I’m trying to look up mine. How about me? That unusual question starts annoying me. What do I want? How I will go for it? Do that right guy can completely accept the way I am? Mom ever said to me, “The most important thing about spouse is he/she can accept the way her/his partner is”. Then I asked her, “How can I find he’s the one who can accept me completely?” She answered me, “You are going to find him one day, both of you can accept each other completely, he’s your mate, just prepare yourself and pray for him to come in the right time and at the right place.” So, starting from that day, I keep praying for him who I don’t even know, till I met someone at the fine day and I was sure he’s the one, then at some points, we couldn’t accept each other. So, that’s a little bit afraid for completely keep faith in someone. There’s always changes in everything and everyone.

I’m not trying to be the next guy or the best man. The next guy can get next-ed, a best man is always the sidekick of the right guy. I’m trying to be the right guy to the right girl.

Let’s stop falling in love and start being in love.

The biggest mistake people is, thinking they have TIME. TIME doesn’t stop just because you do. TIME goes on. The TIME you give up on will be given to someone who wants it. She might love you, but in TIME, she will forget you. Because TIME heals all wounds, even love. Because TIME waits for no man, neither does a good woman.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

 The commitment beats all the odds. When you’re committed to loving someone for the rest of our lives, no matter how apart your worlds are, you will go that distance.

 Men always want to be a woman’s first love, women like to be a man’s last romance.

 That feeling when you hear the voice of other saying happy new year form distance, you know you are on the way back into love.

That feeling when you have the butterflies attacked from other, you know yourself have moved away and on your way back into love.

It’s not mellow time, dear, not I’m falling in love too. The love topic has no end to be discussed right? I just wanna write what my mind thinking about that thing.

You know I ever had a dream that a man would take a lot of pictures of me even though I’m not in beautiful style, but he mumbles the word “beautiful” to me. This is random thinking, but I think it would be really nice. He just let me do things I’m doing and take my pictures random, it’s so cute.

The first month of this year… what should I write…  Actually I have no idea, just randomly let my fingers dancing on keyboard writing some random things to you, dear.

I got happy moments saying goodbye to last year and so do welcoming the new year. Thank you to the ones for making me happy and feel worth, and for those who stay in the last year, goodbye to you, thanks for all the memories we’ve made.

Anyway, talking about relationship, I think it’s important thing for us to feel lucky having our spouse. Why? When you feel lucky to have someone in your life, you will always try to appreciate and understand him. In your eyes, he’s more than anything you want so you will treat him precious and realize that nobody’s perfect. His negative sides will not matter much because you can always have some positive sides to win from. You’ll always have reason to stay and fight because you feel it’s worth. I am lucky to have him/her in my life is the critical thing in a relationship, I think.

Someone told me, a couple should try to make his/her spouse happy, and if both of them do so, they will be a happy couple. It’s so simple, yet not easy to do it. It’s another point I agree. I’m writing here not because I’m an expert of relationship, I have felt the fail one too. It’s just some random thinking that maybe some of you will judge I’m just good in theory but zero in practical, no offense, it’s up to you, your judgement is out of my control. One thing you should know, if I’m thinking it’s good, then I would like to apply it when I have that chance. Back to that point of making your spouse happy because seeing his/her happy will make you happy too even happier, this is the second critical thing in a relationship. Both of us try together, so we can happy together, right? You know what makes him happy and he knows what makes you happy, so both of you would not make things that cause sadness.

The next critical thing, keep learning about your spouse. Since people change from time to time, you can’t stop learning about him/her. We should keep learning his likes, dislikes, habits, and other things about him. It’s like schooling degree, after high school, there is college degree, then master degree, and so on. It’s like learning life, we keep learning about our journey with him that we’re walking together. So, we can accept him fully and closer to him.  As thing changes, so do people.

I think that’s three points I wanna share to you, three I’m thinking about relationship and hope I can apply those points soon. See you ahead.

6th Month in 23rd

Happy New Year 2014 dear :* wish you have a better year ahead!

Wohoo first writing in new year, how I’m feeling now, it’s raining heavily outside while I’m writing this to you…

This month I had my task in town for the first two weeks, and the third week I went back to my hometown for holiday. Finally this time I went back for 10 days. The first third days in town, I had quality time with my friends, lot of new cafes in town, but the taste is so so, still love the street food :) Then I had my year end holiday, last trip in 2013, with my beloved mom flied to Batam then continued to Bintan Island. We had really good time there, enjoyed relaxing time for body, mind, and soul. The beautiful and calm resort with private beach made this lazy days here perfecto. We had H20 Splash & Foam Party for New Year Eve Beach Party, fun experience to dance in foam J The last three days, I visited flower garden, nice to know such a beautiful garden in town, and enjoyed the unique design of Hinduism temple in town. This day, act like a Singaporean, 23rd years being Medanese never visited these places before. The last two days in town, I had quality time with my beib, ladies day out, let’s get fat together, and had long chit chat time. So far, I don’t have any plan going back to Medan, even for Chinese New Year. So, see you Medan till I see you again.

My Grown Up New Year Lists

7 days to end this year, my dear! How are you doing? I know you gonna stay with me till I stop writing to you… So, year end is talking about the reviews and resolutions. Let’s have the checklists then :

The Reviews

My Job! Okay, I got it now I’m a permanent employee in that company. Congrats me dear :)

Our relationship! Hmm.. I’m not lucky in this item, maybe next year, try again hahaha.. Let’s move away, turn the new page, give new person the chance, and as always say cheers :)

Slim body! This is hardly to do… But I think a little bit slim :p

My brother’s graduation! I did it, my family trip after 15 years :)

Saving! Okay, it’s quite working, at least, I can handle my expenses and start future planning.

Traveling! Yeahhhh this is the most excited one, I did it, Rock down Wakatobi by myself.

Ice cream cake for my birthday! This year I got sushi cake for my birthday… haha.. not so sad.. :)

Dream wishes! Keep dreaming this one LoL

I think this year I have done a lot of traveling trips and my flight schedules due to the trips or tasks were too much tired, but still enjoyed those busy times. Let’s start with January, this month was still calm down the holiday season. Ms. February with Chinese New Year celebration with far family and spent my weekend at Bandung. Went back to hometown in March, then weekend getaway to Singapore in April, continued Vesak festival at Jogja in May, ended half year with my bro’s graduation and family trip in June. Had an amazing experience during my winter holiday in August with my beloved mom. Three hectic months with the tasks paid myself to Wakatobi in November, then I thought that would be last trip for this year, but I was wrong, I gonna have another two trips, back to my hometown in December and new year eve beach party in an island with my mom.

So, what’s the plan for next year? Not so much traveling plan since my dream destination left for two, Japan and Europe. Maybe Europe for honeymoon :p *crazy dream*

1.       My Job

Improving my competence and performance in the upcoming year.

2.       My Business

Gonna have a business plan and hope it works well next year. Time to have my own business, dear:)

3.       My love life

Aha! This one I’m not brave enough to dream high, like my last year resolution, wish that I found the right man, in the right time, at the right place, that factor x, me and him make it all works. Someone who supports me, never let me walk alone, trust, love, commit, walk along through good or bad.

4.       Traveling

You must pay off your hard work by enjoying this beautiful world. If everything goes well, I gonna visit Japan for Cherry Blossom, Sakuraaaa I’m comingggg.. Excited to the max, dear. This was my dream destinations. J  This year, I gonna celebrate Vesak Festival in Bangkok with my colleague, not part of my plan actually but since they ask me, let’s have some fun with budget trip.

5.       24th

One wish that I didn’t really concern since the years passed. But this year, I think I gonna pray hard for that one wish. What type of cake I want for this year? Nothing. May I wish of some little sincere surprise.

6.       Friendship

This new item become one of my new year lists. Thank you for the ones who stay with me through my good and bad. I know I’m hard to be handled, but I’ll try my best if you promise to stay.

7.       Giving

We are not blessed because of we’re having, we’re blessed because of we’re giving. Last item for the lists, the lucky 7.

Then, for those who celebrate Christmas, I wanna say “Merry Christmas to you! Wish the joy of Christmas cheer you up and spread the love around you.”

Let’s counting down together for 2014! :)

First Love Never Dies

So unbelievable I gonna write this to you. This is not really me, but it's real, now i'm writing to you about that crazy little thing called 'first love'. And to make this the real me i gonna use bahasa...

Klise memang, yang namanya cinta pertama akan selalu diingat, bukan berarti kita masih mencintai orang itu, melainkan kenangan bersama dengan orang itu yang akan kita ingat selamanya dalam hidup kita. Pria maupun wanita, semuanya akan merasakan yang namanya cinta pertama. Rasanya berbeda- beda bagi tiap orang, ada yang merasa efek geli berpuluh kupu-kupu di perutnya saat bertemu, terasa sengatan listrik saat bersentuhan dengannya, selalu memikirkannya sebelum tidur dan berharap bisa membawa dirinya dalam mimpi, tidak sabar bangun pagi untuk menerima ucapan selamat pagi darinya, semangat memulai hari karena kamu akan melihat dirinya, begitu banyak rasa yang akan dialami sehingga tidak salah kata orang bahwa jatuh cinta itu berjuta rasanya apalagi yang namanya cinta pertama. Beruntunglah mereka yang merasakan cinta pertama dan terakhir pada orang yang sama, karena dia tidak perlu mengalami yang namanya sakit, patah hati,dan membuka lembaran baru. Bersyukurlah orang yang menemukannya pada orang yang berbeda, menambah pengalaman hidup bukan? 

Bagi wanita, cinta pertama teramat sulit untuk dilupakan, mungkin karena kaum hawa lebih melibatkan perasaan sehingga mendalam. Kenangan cinta pertamanya tetap akan menjadi luka yang membekas meski sudah ada cinta baru yang menggantikannya. Bukan karena dia masih mencintai orang itu, hanyalah kenangan bersama dengan sang cinta pertama, saat pertama dia merasakan sensasi jatuh cinta pada kaum adam bukan sesuatu yang sangat mudah untuk dihapuskan dari ingatan. Sepersekian sisi hatinya akan selalu tersisa buat sang cinta pertama.  Untuk membuka lembaran baru juga luar biasa sulit terlebih untuk wanita yang melibatkan perasaan jauh lebih besar daripada logika. Sebagian bahkan takut untuk memulai lagi. Takut untuk jatuh cinta lagi, karena setiap jatuh itu sakit.

Ada pepatah yang mengatakan, "pilihlah orang yang pernah sakit hati, karena dia tidak akan menyakitimu, sebab dia tahu bagaimana rasanya disakiti." Untuk para wanita yang tidak beruntung melanjutkan cinta pertama, di luar sana masih ada cinta baru yang akan menggantikannya. Beribu pria di luar sana yang akan menggantikannnya, hanya perlu mencari yang sesuai. Tidak perlu membandingkannya dengan cinta pertamamu, karena jauh di lubuk paling dalam, hampir semua wanita akan membandingkannya dengan yang pertama dan tidak jarang tetap menganggap yang pertama itu yang terbaik. Itu menjadi sulit membuka lembaran baru. Cinta pertama itu masa lalu, jika dia memang untukmu, dia akan mempertahankanmu sejak awal. Masih banyak pria di luar sana yang pantas mendapatkan cintamu, yang akan menghargaimu dan menyayangimu dengan tulus. Kamu hanya belum menemukannya. Ingatlah selalu ada faktor x saat tidak ada faktor x itu menjadi penentu. Senyaman apapun, sesuka apapun, tidak akan berjalan lancar tanpa faktor x. Bahkan yang tidak sukapun, karena fakto x bisa berjalan lancar. Faktor x itu misterius, sesuatu yang tidak bisa didefinisikan dengan kata-kata, maupun logika.

Untuk semua wanita yang masih terpuruk pada cinta pertama, sadarilah itu sebagai masa lalu, dan saatnya bangkit, yakin bahwa kamu pantas mendapatkan yang lebih baik. Cheers to new love!